back to basics phone

I think I might have to have this.  Immediately.  "The world’s most elementary, user-friendly cell phone.  No email.  No camera.  No texting.  No nauseatingly endless ringtones.  No contract.  Just a phone that can be used anywhere in the world.  Compatible with any type of SIM card."  Available in tree brown, sweet pink, snow white, grass green, business black and bar gold.  Designed by John Doe Amsterdam.  $160.